The Night Before Earnings

Twas the night before earnings and all through Wall Street, Nothing was stirring except SEC leaks; Shorts were hung by a dividend scare, In hopes that complicit brokers soon would be there; Longs also faced a grim situation, Would they receive a fair valuation; Butina, guns, banks, oligarchs, Cancer, Hep C, problems with my heart; Then FBI began making a clatter, Never had I so much on my platter; With the greenlight, I was off to NYC, With Maria again, in my suite; And, away to Asia I flew in a flash, In search of crypto investors laden with cash; Big shot Sonny Wu whose word is gold, Where’s he now? His ruse gets old; A Senate committee, my pleas will hear, Settlement slop financial collapse is near; With blockchain it will all be fixed, Exorbitant negative rebates will no longer exist; Someday they’ll all be paraded in shame, The judge will shout and call them by name; Now, Goldman, Merrill Lynch, Camelback cronies, No more ill-gotten commissions and fees; With government taboos in the past, Insider support needed to be recast; Abha makes sausage while Yamamoto joins the coup, Truth in journalism I continue to pursue; Hedgies raid pensions, savings go poof, Regulators sit by remaining aloof; And just when retail was turning around, Threats of no D&O forced me to step down; But I exclaimed as I flew out of sight, I’ll be diving in Asia but haven’t finished the fight; Bazoomba me? Someday, Bazoomba you.

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